Moms Council: Prioritizing Your Partner
Local moms talk about taking time out for your partner and the importance of love and compassion in your marriage.
Hello and welcome to this week's Fredericksburg Patch Moms Council, an online forum of ordinary mothers just trying their best to raise their children. The Moms Council will take your questions, share advice and offer solutions every Wednesday at 1 p.m. Today's discussion is about keeping the spark lit in your marriage after children.
With everything going on in your daily grind, by the time the kids are put to sleep, the house is picked up and lunches are made, we are often too tired for romance. For a healthy marriage it is all too important to make your husband a priority over your children and more importantly show him you still love him (or her, as the case may be).
How do you show affection? Do you hold hands in public or steal a kiss in front of the kids? Do you have pet names for each other or share a secret language? What are the little things that still make you giddy for one another after all your years together?
Tell us your tips for a happy husband or partner. What do you do to let your significant other know you care? You don't have to spend a lot to do something special. Think back to the things you used to do before life got chaotic --- make his favorite dessert, give him a back/foot massage or even mix up his favorite after dinner drink.
With time at a minimum, what do you do to reconnect with your hubby after a long day? Do you share a hobby, enjoy watching a favorite t.v. show together, or just talk?
When was the last time your husband asked you out on a date? Where did you go? What did you do? Take a coffee break, reserve a table at your favorite restaurant or getaway for a romantic weekend -- all that matters is its just the two of you.
Join the discussion -- we want to hear from you! Share with us in the comment area your suggestions for maintaining passion in your marriage when you have children, minimum time alone and tight budgets. When was the last time your husband did something that made you feel appreciated? For more information about the format, and an introduction to our Mom's Council, read our intro post here.
Nikki Ducas
1:02 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Hello and welcome to this week's Moms Council. Today we are discussing how we are able to keep the spark lit after children. How do you prioritize your partner?
Nikki Ducas
1:06 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tell us your tips for a happy husband or partner. What do you do to let your significant other know you care?
Veronica
2:21 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Through communication I suppose? We both let each other know how much we love one another. We show each other as well but healthy communication is important for me. How do we show each other? I'm not sure..I guess it's all the 'little things' like always being happy to see one another.
Sharee
6:47 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A smile here, a hug there... And little thoughtful spontaneous things (me bringing up his laundry, him buying me coffee, etc)...
Nikki Ducas
1:07 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
With time at a minimum, what do you do to reconnect with your partner after a long day?
Veronica
2:10 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
After the children are asleep we try to spend some time talking about our day. We often keep in touch throughout the day using skype as well. We really don't have or take a lot of 'alone time' choosing to enjoy our time as a family.
Sharee
6:49 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
At bedtime we read together in bed. I really like this "tradition". We're reading entirely different things and don't really discuss what we're reading, but just cuddle. Also my mom is nearby and is usually available to watch the kids so we can catch a movie and/or a dinner out just us...though we don't take advantage of this as often as we shouild.
Nikki Ducas
1:07 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
When was the last time your husband asked you out on a date? Where did you go? What did you do?
Veronica
2:15 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I usually have to ask my husband. We aren't really 'going out' types and even prior to children didn't go out very often. We both prefer an 'at home' date which I will often initiate by inviting him to meet me somewhere in the house where we can talk , snack and spend time together.
Sharee
6:52 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
He usually sees a movie he wants to see and asks for my company to go watch it (if it's gorey he'll try to trick me into thinking it's a chick flick -- not successfully ;) I might mention a place/movie I'd want to go to,etc....
Nikki Ducas
1:08 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
When was the last time your husband did something that made you feel appreciated?
Sharee
6:53 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
He used his own spending money to buy me a favorite drink :)
Nikki Ducas
1:09 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
What are the little things that still make you giddy for one another after all your years together?
Sharee
6:54 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Just the little spontaneous things here and there...
Carolyn
7:18 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
When he calls to just see how my day is going. When he randoml buys me flowers, just because and when he tells me he loves me
Nikki Ducas
1:34 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The weather must have everyone outdoors today!
Nikki Ducas
1:39 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Is this topic too mushy for you to comment?
Sharee
7:01 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
LOL! HAhahahahaha! I think it's a very important topic... It's very easy to get sidelined with all the kids needs and activities and then you are just so exhausted you don't have the energy to give anymore and connect with your partner. That's why I like our reading time together (which we started way before kids). And time out of the house on date nights at a movie or restaurant where we can just talk (wow!) and relax. I think little things during the day to show you are thinking of them really matter... or a compliment or thank you here and there... really makes a difference.
Nikki Ducas
2:32 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Well it looks like the beautiful Fall weather has everyone at the pumpkin patches. Perhaps that'll be next weeks topic: Fall Family Fun. Thanks for reading and please feel free to make comments as you see fit :)
Leigha Pecher
3:33 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My husband and I have very little alone time and it IS tough. He goes to bed shortly after our children are since he is up very early to commute into work. Often, he is in bed long before I am! However, we DO try to reconnect on weekend nights with a movie night or just talking over wine/dessert after the boys are asleep.
Leigha Pecher
3:35 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
We try to do things for each other that can be worked into our day. Taking the kids out to play and letting me relax for a bit is the best way my husband can and does show me he still cares. Just helping each other out and realizing when we need a break is most important to us right now. :)
Carolyn
7:17 pm on Wednesday, October 5, 2011
We try to make time for each other after the kids go to bed. Making time usually means just hanging out together and watching t.v., but sometimes we have a game night for just us and the winner gets to pick the next game or "activity" ;) We also never leave the house without telling each other that we love one another. We try to schedule a date night once in a while too.